 Dear Friends,
When Geoff Napier phoned from Cygnus to ask me to write a letter from the heart for the magazine, I immediately thought of my sixteen month old granddaughter. Then I cancelled the impulse as an indulgence. However, I later recalled that during the two-week holiday I had just spent with Isabel, one of the greatest lessons she taught me was this. Doing what makes you happy spreads joy to others. So writing about what I experienced and learnt from this small being, is bringing me happiness and I hope you will share it.
Every moment she looked at the world with fresh eyes and found delight in everything. Feeding the pigeon, which she insisted on calling a duck, made her laugh with pleasure. With intense curiosity, she touched and examined every rock and plant, each feather or bottle top. Even the prickly cacti intrigued her. On the first day I let her gently touch their sharp prickles and after that, she pointed them out with a sharp intake of breath and shake of the head. They were ‘Ooh!’
Walking slowly along with her I noticed things I usually took for granted. I realised that while every single thing is new for a child, there is also a cornucopia of untapped wonders in the world that I have not experienced or seen. I vowed to expand my horizons and see everything with the fresh and curious eyes of a child.
Like many adults I have learnt not to show too many feelings, nor to praise myself for a job well done, lest I become conceited or people think I come from ego. Yet I watched this small child laboriously and carefully drag four chairs into a row and place a teddy on each one. Then she stood back, laughing exuberantly at her prowess and clapped herself. We joined her, laughing with her and enjoying her success. I wondered why I don’t enjoy my little successes more? What has happened to enthusiasm and the pleasure of living? Why don’t I praise adults for their achievements as generously as I do a child?
I might add that she showed her displeasure with equal vigour so that her needs and desires were openly and clearly expressed! It made me conscious that I have much too strong a pleaser who does not dare express my views so obviously. Perhaps I need to change that!
One of life’s lessons is how to get your needs met. There are times to fight and times to conform. I had been teaching her about the magic word ‘Please.’ She clearly thought this was mad for she had managed all her short life without it. Now suddenly she was expected to make a weird sound before she received what she wanted. One day I heard a loud clamour. She wanted her bucket, which had been placed on a ledge beyond her reach. Say ‘Please,’ I said, like an infuriating adult. She eyed me witheringly and fetched a stool to stand on to reach her bucket but still could not quite stretch that far. Say, ‘Please,’ I repeated. She assessed the impossibility of getting the bucket herself, gave me a defeated look and hunched her shoulders in surrender. ‘Eees!’ she squeaked in a small voice.
For a time I wondered what she was teaching me. Then I remembered how often (very often) I struggle with stubborn determination to do things myself, when by asking a human or an angel in the magic way, it will be given to me.
Before I went on holiday my guide, Kumeka, gave me the affirmation, ‘I am living love’. As if to confirm this affirmation I watched Isabel show love in all its aspects. Every time I appeared, her face lit up with pleasure and my heart opened wide. I imagine it would be completely impossible for anyone to keep their hearts closed in the face of such a consistent demonstration of living love.
For two weeks I daily watched her openheartedness being expressed. If she wanted to make friends with a child, she would approach him or her and smile broadly, anticipating a return of friendship, which was inevitably offered. Yet politicians and business people armour themselves in business suits, smile tersely and tensely, and expect the ‘opposition’ to respond. How many times have I approached someone with a closed or suspicious heart and expected them to open up to me. How naïve! Isabel reads people’s light. If she does not like someone’s energy, she ignores them or backs off. She trusts her knowing.
Isabel waved at every car and bus driver and was ecstatic when they waved back. A child can connect in this way because of her innocence. There is no hidden agenda and no expectation.
At the end of the holiday when the family left and I waved goodbye, my precious little granddaughter howled as if her heart would break. Next day I phoned to speak to her but she did not want to come to the phone to talk to Granny. She had found a snail in the garden and was fully engaged in examining it. And that was another lesson. Life was presenting the child with new interests and she absorbed herself in what was available. She offered a supreme example of how to live in the now.
And so I want to thank Isabel and all children for reminding me about the important things in life. About innocence and curiosity, about openheartedness, being in the now and true communication. Most of all I want to say thank you for demonstrating living love.
With love and light,
Diana Cooper
www.dianacooper.com
Text & photographs © Cygnus Books 21-Jun-2004
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